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Resources: For a better understanding of this technique, I recommend the book Loving What Is by Byron Katie. You can also learn more about The Work by visiting the foundation’s website at: [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
Given that being judgmental is a natural part of life, there is something you can do to free yourself from the pain and suffering that typically happen when you think that someone should be different than they are but they never change.
I offer this tool of inquiry from a place of understanding and compassion for the pain I have felt,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and that I know other's feel, when negative thoughts take root. This exercise is about weeding the garden of your thoughts and only choosing to give your attention and energy to the flowering thoughts that bring you satisfaction and joy. Root out and free your inner garden of the thoughts that cause you pain and suffering. The way to "weed" your garden of thoughts is with the "weed killer" of inquiry.
You can also visit and hear Katie doing The Work with members of the StepHeroes Community.
Action Step: Take some time to explore your inner garden and notice if there are any weeds that need tending! Instead of allowing negative thoughts and judgments to take root and hold you and your family hostage, take responsibility to use the "weed killer" of inquiry to stop them from keeping you happy.
To get coaching on how to use this technique in your own life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], contact now for an introductory coaching session.
Since our minds are "meaning-making machines" and are great at making judgments,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], why not give yourself a break and know that you are, and will always be,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], judgmental?
Have you ever found yourself judging someone else for his or her behaviors,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Who hasn't,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Being judgmental is being human,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. We are taught from an early age not to be judgmental but I've yet to meet anyone who has mastered their thinking to that degree.
If you are experiencing emotional pain,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], chances are you have a thought related to the pain. Once you determine the thought,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can play with it by inquiring. Here's how: First, ask yourself whether or not the thought is true. Then ask yourself what you get to feel and experience when you believe it is true. Next,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], explore how you'd be different if you didn't have that thought. Finally,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], try on some other thoughts and see how they make you feel instead.
While you cannot be in control of how your mind thinks (and since you can never be in control of what others say and do), you can be in full control of what you do with your thoughts. Feelings arise from choosing to believe a thought. Once you decide to believe a thought is true, you then get to experience the direct result of that belief – either pain or joy.
Byron Katie and Emily Bouchard
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By Emily Bouchard
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Have you ever felt so comfortable around a client that you let your guard down? Under the right circumstances, it is often not a problem. Notwithstanding, there can be times where you can get into trouble, or even lose a client, if you get too casual with them.