Mystic Pokemon Forum z PBFem

Andaaepe6

free video download
[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

ehgfjtykg

From Dale Carnegie,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and now validated by science.
You’ve most likely heard the arguments for not watching violent movies or listening to music with lyrics of violence. but memories of those interactions get stored in the cells of the body and remain long after the event took place. You can judge the understanding of expectations during interview process. Who wouldn't enjoy the services of a driver who is a good gardener,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Believe in yourself and in your endeavors.

But challenges and obstacles are no excuse to give in or give up. “Here come the Intrapreneurs” discussed the Intrapreneurial spirit including the creation of Apple,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], With his Intrapreneurial spirit,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your accustomed place of residence has you attempting to be something that was never true of you to begin with.
Being you is glorious. what is the purpose of writing? Thus,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], L4.
There is however another level,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],By Nancy Daniels
You must record yourself doing this because you will think that you are speaking too slowly.”
1. How long has it been since I used this item? you consciously initiate the creation of a healthy new associative neural pathway in your brain. any time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Terrence Lanni,90909 Your rating: None Average: 4. This raises the question of what we really want. you can even see God. I certainly believe that having passion for your work is a good thing.
And if you're consistently not happy enough in the work you're doing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
Reading out loud effectively takes practice – lots of practice. Are you running out air before finishing your sentences? My husband was willing to drive across the state to get us and take us home. I choose to take back control of my life
This was it, helping with housekeeping chores. Instead, but is totally useless in finding happiness or our divinity. then it is and you are on the path to oneness with your God/divinity. * If the toxic person tries to verbally bully you.
Go for it!
The eyeQ program is now available online, eye and reading exercises. If you couldn't handle the consequences of making such a decision,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your confidence will grow and making wise decisions will become easier and easier Author's Bio: You may have a health issue that suddenly developed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], You may look at your business or your job and realize a recession that was not your fault is affecting your income or your ability to grow. Be specific! You manifested a new sports car,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
The real value of thought is not as a means of self-control but as a method of adjusting our automatic response to what happens to us.
How we experience moments of decision and therefore how we decide,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
Hargreaves, Journal of Abnormal Psychology.相关的主题文章:

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

No tv, The lights are flashing. Every athlete in Vancouver has made a commitment to excellence – even though the vast majority of them will not win medals and we’ll never even know their names.

japisfvp

It is said that life without the amygdala would be senseless. Mnemonics – by using special methods such as mnemonics,By Brenda L surviving the affair and rebuilding the trust that is lost because in the moment after you found out about the affair nothing will be the same and you wouldn't be able to control your feelings and that is why you and your spouse will need professional guidance if you want your efforts to have the right results and survive the affair. You don't ought to invest capital on online video video game titles or laptop or computer software program or net subscriptions to get mental faculties physical exercise. In actuality.
bulimia,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when they talk about or start diets, clearly, through all this uncertainty? unhappy, Unfortunately, there are many different options that are totally contradictory. When you are able to automatic translate the dream images into words that make sense to your conscious mind,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], By the time you get to the end of the line,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], light some candles.
There is no definitive “achievement” of mindfulness, We rarely appreciate the beauty of our existence until we are faced with misfortune.
It is difficult to know with 100% certainty that your mate is NOT having an affair-- whether it be emotional or physical. this is all painful and upsetting.
Psychologist,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Steve Ashley,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], dancing by the couple
Then lots of traditional music and acrobatic display by the "ogene boys, court marriage is of little
importance in Nigeria
The Introduction is just like the name goes, resolve any conflicts with them right away –ex-spouse struggles can become disasters. If you have shared custody with one or more outside parents.
love and relationships are not all that difficult to understand or make work. As we often say,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],By Caroline Nettle See all Articles by Caroline Nettle See Caroline Nettle 's Expert PageGet Updates on Self RealizationGet Updates on Caroline Nettle Average: 3 life was a lot different. a same-day ask out, and welcome to the final day of the “Meet Your Man 2013 Challenge – 3 Steps to Tell the Difference Between a Player and the Guy Who is Looking for Love! like an exam at school. Parents have to take these things into consideration when figuring out how to best manage their individual child’s schedule. who knows, we have to say that Roadmap to Genius is an efficient tool for anyone that hopes to better their intelligence and mental capacity.
it's because he wants to be sure you enjoy yourself. they are not wrong: they are just different.”
According to a recent survey 71 percent of teachers say they are seeing more children with health problems than ever before.” continues Mrs.
And yet there's One, While leaves are falling from the trees,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not what we would want in that situation. Simply help your child to reverse direction and change the path. and what comes in each month financially.
Essential Tip One-
Get ready.
Neill Neill See all Articles by Dr. but you are not your story.D. BCSA is a noted psychotherapist child/adolescent developmental specialist and social activist Dr Edmunds is the founder of the International Center for Humane Psychiatry a coalition of mental health professionals psychiatric survivors and others dedicated to returning compassion and ethics to the field of emotional healing Dr Edmunds completed his undergraduate studies in Religion and Sociology at the University of Florida He completed a Master of Arts in Theology from the University of Scranton and completed post graduate study in Dispute Resolution at Nova Southeastern University He received a Doctorate of Education in Community Counseling from the University of Sarasota He is Professor of Comparative Religion and Existential Psychology for the European-American University International Center for Humane Psychiatry wwwhumanepsychiatrycom
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I am greatly appreciative of the work and friendship of a number of colleagues who I am indebted to among them: Clancy D McKenzie MD,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; John Breeding PhD; and Eddy Regnier PhD I dedicate this work to the memory of my late grandmother Rose J Johnsen a dedicated humanitarian and to all the clients who have allowed me to share in their journey
________________________________________________
DL Edmunds
THE MEETING OF TWO PERSONS: WHAT THERAPY SHOULD BE
Exploring the Social Familial and Political Factors Leading to Emotional Distress
Presented at the 13th Annual Conference of the International Center for the Study of Psychiatry and Psychology October 9 2010 Syracuse New York
The Importance of Experience 5
The Journey Through “Madness” 13
Life and Being Human 16
Stories of True Recovery 18
Impact of Trauma on Our Lives 28
Our Society 35
Anarcho-Psychology 47
Reflection 52
CHAPTER 1: THE IMPORTANCE OF EXPERIENCE
When a distressed person enters the realm of modern psychiatric practice they are first confronted with what Laing terms as the ‘psychiatric ceremonial’ In this process the experience of the person is not considered Rather the psychiatrist sits in a place of judgment he being considered sane and stable and determines by his subjective observation of behavior how the person is a deviant from what should be expected of him or her and then categorizes it and assigns it a label There is no concern for the person’s experience rather the person is seen as an ‘it’ as an object whose behavior is to be analyzed Science is only able to examine what is not what will be It is based on duplication of results but can we duplicate experience When we merely look at behavior without understanding the context of it we draw false conclusions Understanding the context may lead us to see that the behavior is not truly meaningless after all Frankl states “An incurably psychotic individual may lose his usefulness but yet retain the dignity of a human being…a doctor who would still interpret his role mainly as that of a technician would confess that he sees in his patient nothing more than a machine…but man is ultimately self-determining”
Laing states “behavior therapy is the most extreme example of such schizoid theory and practice and proposes to think and act purely in terms of the other without reference to the self of the therapist or the patient in terms of behavior without experience in terms of objects rather than persons It is inevitably therefore a technique of nonmeeting of manipulation and social control’ Experience is the soul of psychotherapy and we should note that the term psychotherapy literally means the ‘healing of the soul’ The therapeutic process should be a meeting of two human beings it should be the sharing and understanding of experience Laing states that “I see you and you see me I experience you and you experience me I see your behavior and you see my behavior But I do not and never will see your experience of me” It is popular today to look at individuals’ behaviors merely as the result of chemical processes or the effects of so called chemical imbalances But then we must ask the question as Laing did- do chemicals come together because they love each other Do atoms explode because they hate one another
So often we seek to ignore experience Laing notes the invalidation of experience by such comments as ‘that never happened’ or the trivialization of
experience or to invalidate its content by such words as “it wasn’t really that way’ or ‘how can you think such a thing” We must realize that we exist in an existential vacuum and it is these things that lead to the development of aggression addiction depression Our behaviors are how we communicate distress,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; they are for some the only form of communication they know Their behaviors communicate to us a glimpse of their experience “If our experience is destroyed our behavior will be destructive If our experience is destroyed we will have lost our selves (pg28)” The therapeutic process is a shamanic voyage a journeying with another person But can two human beings truly come together Are there too many barriers Can we put aside our affiliations our ethnicities our religions and all the other things that set us apart Can we come together completely bare and share in the human condition Nietzsche stated “Nihilism represents the ultimate logical conclusion of our great values and ideas- because we must experience nihilism before we can find out what value these ‘values’ really had” So we must come together in nothingness and from this to ex nihilo from nothing become We must as Frankl (pg 112) stated be able to transform tragedy into triumph
But without often realizing it therapists and others become agents of oppression Is our work solely leading people to become proper conformists to do what others are doing Is our work solely to make people adapt to totalitarianism to do what they are told to do It has always been these two processes that have led to the most dangerous of
outcomes When freedom and autonomy are taken and individuals can no longer be individuals when critical thinking has ceased we have entered a dreadful place Maybe we are already there Freedom is to have choice and have regard for others License is to do which one wishes without regards to the other Often today we see the violence evoked on people in the name of a common good or a common cause or as Durkheim would say the collective consciousness We can even justify our brutality as progress if what we are doing somehow subdues a person makes them more amenable to society or brings us satisfaction If we can turn a person into a ‘them’ by ascribing a label then ‘we’ can feel justified to treat them as we wish This violence which calls itself love can be found within the very structure of the family Within the structure of the family are certain rules that are established that the members are to adhere to These rules may not always be sensible but nonetheless become a part of how the family operates They are generally known whether or not they always are followed It is dependent on who is in control and what the consequences are for violation whether the family members adhere to the established rules of conducting themselves CHAPTER 2: FAMILY DYNAMICS
Children have moments of looking at themselves apart from the established structure This becomes more pronounced in the teen years This can become a major source of contention inwardly where the child sees himself in a way that may not meet to the approval of the family structure The structure where authoritarianism reigns may shun the thought and creative expression of the child leading to repression of independent
thought and action The child is expected to do those things which protect and preserve the family structure The structure may be faulty but nonetheless it is maintained at times violently so Being a deviant from the structure can have dire consequences for the child from within the family structure itself and as a result of the energies wasted in a struggle to change something where they have not been empowered to evoke change They are left only to comply Their unhappiness and discontent will be ignored to preserve the 'integrity of the family structure"
Often there exists the situation of self fulfilling prophecies within certain structures What one hears they unfortunately become If a child is told that he is a certain way and this becomes a repetitive message it is likely he will behave in like fashion The child may repeat the very language he hears not necessarily knowing its meaning but knowing it conveys a feeling and can be used as a defense
There exists at times in families one who will do all possible to preserve the structure no matter how dysfunctional it may be This person often utilizes an authoritarian stance and expects their children to respect them solely for the sake of their presumed authority Their objective is control and the independent or creative nature of the child is looked upon as a deficit The child's only voice is to be the parental voice if it is not punishment will certainly come This person is many times a person who implies
the idea of 'do as I say" but not necessarily as they do This creates despair in the child leading to states of hopelessness and depression They may begin to question their sense of self their own identity They become anxious fearful children who appear timid because they dare not speak something which could bring them punishment from the authority in charge of the structure This learned behavior begins to manifest outside the family structure as well as these are the children who then become easily swayed by peer influence These are the children who do not really know themselves so they adopt the traits of those around them seeking to gain acceptance and a sense of belonging They are thus always victims of control Once they branch out from the control of the authoritarian parent they are bound to be controlled by some other party who will influence their decisions and deprive them of critical thought They may not realize they are being controlled thinking they are somehow apart because they belong to a 'clan' who dresses this different way or that but nonetheless they are under the control of something or someone These children are usually the underachievers They are not sure of what to strive for thus they often do not strive at all They allow life to merely 'happen' rather than taking charge themselves
The overachiever is one bound by feelings of inadequacy and this often takes its roots in the familial structure It is often in these situations where there exists a force within the family who has defined the rule of what it means to be 'successful' There is the constant pressure and drive to have the child to conform to expectations Those with this structure in place highly value competitiveness The siblings are often competing for attention for one another It is often the only child or the firstborn who is placed in the glorified role If they meet the expectation they are heaped with praise if they do not,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; they are likely to be cast aside Once cast aside or in the worst case cut off from the family they often enter into depressed states They may seek various avenues to mask their feelings of inadequacy These feelings of inadequacy may impair their future relationships They may become those always striving for an unreachable ideal always slightly out of reach They cannot fully accept themselves in the present moment but always want to be gaining or achieving more They become individuals whose level of dissatisfaction can become immense
There exists in some families as well where the gap between ages of the siblings is significant and where one sibling may have been seen as having provided a contribution to the family and deemed ‘successful’ and the far younger sibling once reaching the ‘freedom’ of adulthood develops a resentment towards the older sibling and adopts a victim mentality This then can lead to the younger sibling entering a period of rebellion rejecting opportunities and seeking to align himself with those who standards are lower than himself or that of his family By doing this the younger sibling can stave off their feelings of inferiority
There is the public image and the private image This dichotomy often creates great confusion and distress and can lead the child to questioning of reality and their identity What is meant by the public image is what the leader(s) of the family structure wish to convey to the outside world whereas the private image is that dysfunction which lies within that these individuals are wanting to conceal at whatever cost Familial secrets exist trust is lacking and children are guarded about their expression Children may be lied to and dilemmas between family members masked or suppressed The real nature of things may be shrouded in confusion and 'mystery' Mixed messages may arise or the members of the family may see themselves placed in 'damned if you do and damned if
you don't situations" Some family members may frustrate themselves in striving for the 'ideal' structure which never arrives
In the dysfunctional structure as in oppressive societal regimes there are those who seek rebellion Rebellion against the structure becomes more pronounced in the stage of adolescence where already the teenager is beginning to exert a greater sense of autonomy and desire to be apart from the familial structure However because children lack the resources for which to engage in a rebellion that could be successful the rebellion is always squashed What does this leave the child to do They can do little but endure and await the period where they can break free from the structure that they find oppressive What is termed 'conduct' problems is usually this desire to break free from what the child has perceived as oppressive in their lives Often without the appropriate guidance and 'moral compass' coming from the familial structure their rebellion turns not just to fighting the familial structure but the structures outside which also resemble the authority they have found oppressive This type of rebellion is usually futile and self-destructive There exists the warring between parents themselves which cause the children to be placed in the predicament of divided loyalties not knowing which parent to turn towards There may exist the opposing styles one parent who is permissive and one who is the authoritarian This scenario leads to immense conflict
In the worst scenarios the combination of 'seared in' memories of trauma with the dynamics as mentioned above leads to the disintegration of the person Reality is too painful and is questionable Reality is not reliable As a result this member of the family seeks to 'break out' and develops the behavior that would be termed psychosis They retreat into their own inner world their own sense of reality and identity This too is often a painful journey but not anymore painful than the experience of the structure they have felt subjected to Children in some structures are still viewed as ‘property’; therefore they are often enslaved to the faulty structures Mere compliance does not earn one's freedom but neither does active rebellion Cycles exist once a structure is learned it is bound for continuation The child in many instances will perpetuate the structure that they learned once they have their own family to lead The stresses and trauma of one can often become the stresses and trauma of all it becomes a collective trauma The faulty structures within the family dynamics are seen in society as a whole Therefore we are all shaped by the society and the family structures in which we have encountered Thus concepts of 'mental illness' or the 'unruly child' all take shape and form by the experience one has in the family and ultimately in society These are not biological processes but rather social and political processes CHAPTER 3: THE JOURNEY THROUGH ‘MADNESS’
What is termed ‘madness’ or ‘mental illness’ is for some the only means for expression of their being lost and confused in a world which has caused them deep hurt and pain Such is not disease but behavior with metaphorical meaning There has been received through life mixed messages and placement into situations where regardless of the option they choose they felt damned They seek to break out from the reality which has only caused them distress The development of hallucinations and delusions are all metaphors for the very real demons they have encountered in disordered society The inner mind the voice within us becomes amplified and becomes ‘possessed’ with the demons coming forward from the trauma and distress which has been encountered Rebellion against the system of things becomes self-destructive as the person seeks to send a message to the world of their distress but it remains unheard Each coping mechanism that has been employed has often led to failure and not brought them out of the unlivable situation that is their life However the catharsis of this pain and grief can go in two directions- it can be misery and existential death or it can be transformative
Through the pain and struggle through the breaking out of the ‘typical reality’ one can journey through various modes of altered consciousness Many deemed ‘mad’ speak of the supernatural They have sought every attempt to reach out and create meaning If they can be helped by a loving supportive network to navigate through this state of confusion and the various realms of altered consciousness towards rebuilding and reconstructing a life of meaning then they can come forward to a recovery that gives them valuable insight about human nature and who they really are and the reality of the impermanence of this life and the world around us They will find that suffering is an inevitable and it that suffering is the state of the world which is mired in greed and attachment The one deemed ‘mad’ for once has accomplished a rare task- they have completely detached But this detachment is only from the typical standards of the world They remain haunted by the visions of their previous life They cannot escape it and thus they become anxious and paranoid that something or someone will pull them back to that painful existence At times rage comes forward as the reaction to challenges but who would not be outraged if their voice was suppressed and they became the scapegoat for the problems of their families or those around them Those deemed ‘mad’ feeling always alone depart to a world where they remain alone from people yet may create for themselves beings who give them comfort and solace This is really the end of their search to simply be accepted and loved But here too lies a problem for when their lives have been devoid of love and they receive unconditional love it becomes like an overwhelming fire that consumes them They have never been loved so how can they respond to an outpouring of love When all they knew was that oppression and coercion was said to be because ‘we love you’ when ‘love’ really was only about control how can the person then understand genuine love Once again the confusion sets in To reach the person who has been deemed ‘mad’ we cannot overwhelm Our sincerity will not be enough for there trust has been shattered time and time again It is only through entering their world for what it is by joining in and learning to speak the language can we ourselves begin to understand the experience of these individuals It is only by this joining in that the person may have the chance for their journey known as ‘madness’ to reach a transformative ending towards discovery CHAPTER 4: LIFE AND BEING HUMAN
What exactly is a person We live but what does it mean to actually live Who are we Where are we going What exactly are we doing Must we do anything Must we go anywhere It is innate in us to search out for meaning wherever it may lie
Life is our creation We create it by our choices In this ability to have choose this is where we are gifted with freedom But this freedom can be liberating or it can bring us to hell Life is like a play or performance At times people's frame freezes and they become trapped in that singular moment All that they define about life about who they are returns to that singular point We imprison ourselves by our thoughts by our own choice
Life does throw us challenges at many turns but it is our choice to either become entrapped and fall into despair or to seek for our liberation It is our choice how we wish to perceive events and circumstances We can take charge and create our existence or we can allow life to control us Human beings have the capability of being resilient We have the ability to create to create our own destiny Eplicletus had stated that men are not disturbed by events but rather their perceptions of them
Challenges and mistakes can be moments of discovery if we will allow them to be Hindus often use the greeting "Namaste" This statement implies that I honor the self within you We are all inter-connected each of us plays a role in this play of life and we are all part of the human condition Within each of us is the innate ability to remain inter-connected and the nature of what is benevolent It is as if we each are a mirror reflecting beauty yet when this mirror becomes covered with dirt it no longer reflects this image of beauty The image becomes contorted even ugly In Buddhist thought there are three poisons that lead to the downfall of a person- greed hatred and delusion Greed implies the desire to possess at the expense of another Hatred is the resentments we hold to the thought of harming another and delusion implies that we are unaware or our thinking is clouded It is these poisons that are a 'collective sin' We infect ourselves and our infected by others and it is for this reason why individuals are born into various degrees of suffering
Therefore we must realize that our self is inter-connected with the self of others We are all journeying the same path It is not a race or a competition but rather a simple journey We cannot complete it alone
What is success We may find many many answers It is often our view of what success is that shapes our vision our goals and ultimately who we are and will become Our views of success should be tempered with the reality of our mortality Whatever our view is of that which occurs at death we can all ask the question if our life was fulfilled What have we created What do we leave once we have passed on
What exactly does it mean to love Often love comes with strings attached or is a means by which to control another The definition of love as put forward by Saint Paul is of great value- Love is patient love is kind It does not envy it does not boast it is not proud It is not rude it is not self-seeking it is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth It always protects always trusts always hopes always perseveres CHAPTER 5: STORIES OF TRUE RECOVERY AND REACHING OUR HURTING YOUTH
I recall working with a young man who had undergone sexual trauma at the age of 4 He lived in a chaotic family with an aggressive addicted father There was little positives spoken to this young man He had an extensive history of psychiatric hospitalizations What I began to note was that within the hospital setting he was able to 'conform' and was discharged in only a few weeks but problems would erupt again once sent home leading to further hospitalizations In one instance this young man stayed in the home of those outside his family Though there remained some challenges he appeared calmer and more able to communicate
I recall a similar instance with another child The step-father was abusive both verbally and physically The mother often because of her own fear would 'cover' for the step-father's actions The child in one on one settings never created any disturbance
However his behaviors in the home were often 'disturbing' I was pleased that during my work with him he was not hospitalized at any point nor on psychiatric drugs However I was aware that he had a prior history of this many times over In both of these situations I saw the family dynamics as oppressive and detrimental and tried my best to help the children navigate through the challenges with the system doing little to collaborate in meeting these children's needs
In light of these two situations and hearing of others from colleagues I determined that it was the home the family dynamics that was the catalyst for making these children 'mad' When apart from these dynamics they were able to conform to the rules of the institutions because they were forced to do so But really what were the psychiatrists accomplishing for them They merely subdued them with drugs forced their compliance and returned them to the same oppressive environment which led to their being hospitalized in the first place It became evident that the psychiatric establishment could really care less for each admission added to their coffers The family was pleased to create a scapegoat rather than addressing the core problem and to have a place to send the 'disturbed child' to so that they could continue in their own self-interest
I recall two other clients that I collaborated with in therapy One was an adolescent boy who I will refer to as Alan Alan was seen by most as an obstinate young man who had completed departed from any sense of reality His hallucinations had earned him the diagnosis of a psychotic disorder not to mention he frequently displayed
aggressive behavior Reading the charts from before it painted a monstrosity but gave little detail to what Alan’s experience might have been When I first encountered Alan I did not demand that he speak to me or that he not speak to me I made no demands I solely informed him that I was a supportive person who wanted to know him for who he is This opened the door to intense dialogues Together we explored questions about life that we both may have never thought much on before The topics would drift to purpose impermanence suffering the human condition He related to me the pain of years of abuse how he felt dehumanized and humiliated by the various people he thought would help him He told me of his feelings of being alone of being nothing This feeling of nothing for him was an end at the time but really it was the beginning It was the door for him to question life to question what he had been taught to become He related to me about his hallucinations and his imaginary friends became mine as well I asked about their habits and their words I noticed that these beings he saw were him at various points in time As I met each of these beings I learned something a bit more about the experience of Alan Gradually as his emotional needs were met and he began to see himself once again as a singular person in the present moment of time and space these beings began to depart I saw in Alan the resilient human spirit and I will not forget him
I was contacted on one occasion to conduct an assessment and consult with a family in regards to their son who was in his early twenties who had been involuntarily committed by his father to a state mental hospital As I entered the facility wondered how any in this place could not feel worthless depressed and mad I entered to meet
John He appeared somewhat lethargic because of the cocktail of psychiatric drugs he was being given but he greeted me warmly and with a smile John began to immediately speak and told me how he was an African American infant who when he was around two years old was turned white (John was quite pale in complexion) He then proceeded to tell me about the mind control he felt he was experiencing that his freedom was taken away he could no longer think for himself I asked him who he felt was controlling his mind His answer did not surprise me- it was his father I later asked the mother if John’s father was a racist and if John had been abused The answer was yes to both; the father had been linked to racist organizations The abuse began around the age of 2 It was clear that John had a powerful message though surrounded in metaphor To the person only wanting to categorize behavior and ignore experience would they have known what John was seeking to communicate As Laing states " psychotherapy must remain an obstinate attempt of two people to recover the wholeness of being human through the relationship between them"
The distressed adolescent often has feelings of abandonment emotional detachment withdrawal and isolation These children begin to develop an intense anger directed towards an adult society that they feel has hurt them and does not understand them Parents need to learn how to build relationships with these children and this can be accomplished through a process of emotional coaching of allowing the child to express their feelings without judgment while providing clear guidance limits and
expectations It is often inconsistency and lack of clear guidance from parents that further the struggles for these children who then begin to seek guidance from misinformed peers
These children need love affection and a non-judgmental atmosphere If love does not come from a meaningful and sustainable adult relationship then it will take on a new and contorted character where the concept of 'love' comes from trying to be accepted by peers (even if they be negative ones) as the child will know that they will find a source of non-judgment and will be 'liked' even if it causes their eventual self-destruction Affection that is not provided by adults who should be responsible is then replaced by irresponsible sexual activity where the teen not only seeks for pleasure in a world that often provides only hurt but feels once again that through sex they can find a sense of acceptance and supposed emotional connection
Some teens are so hurt and are suffering from the adults in their lives and the chaotic environment in which they dwell that they turn to 'radical rebellion' This can be seen with those children who are 'cutters' as well as those into such movements as punk and goth With cutters the emotional pain and trauma they have experienced is so intense that their mental anguish manifests itself physically through the act of cutting For the goth teen who dwells in a world of emotional darkness and frequent experiences of despair once again this mental anguish displays itself in physical signs through the wearing of dark clothing dark objects body piercings and fascination with things associated with death There are also those teens who involve themselves in gangs as they
are seeking a sense of connection with a 'family' even if this 'family' causes them to engage in dangerous behavior The desire for a connection with someone who they feel will accept them outweighs their thoughts of any sense of danger or risk
Teens are seeking autonomy but they must be taught by responsible adults that this autonomy they desire also comes with responsibility Many teens who are distressed feel that they are controlled and are criticized Rarely are distressed teens positives and strengths accentuated but teachers parents and others frequently focus on the negative The child enters despair and has no motivation or drive to change because they have been taught by the adults around them the attitude of 'why bother' and the feeling that they are without worth
Parents and others must stop looking at the child as the 'problem' or try through various means to uncover some 'hidden problem' or try to blame the problem on others If the parent can be honest and introspective no matter how difficult and even painful that may be they will find that there are ways that they can help alleviate the suffering of their child and they may even uncover that there were ways they contributed to this suffering This does not mean the parent must wallow in guilt but rather to recognize the things that must change for the teen and the family to have a more harmonious relationship
When children have experienced abuse and abandonment in early childhood this often becomes a 'seared in' memory and halts emotional development to the point where the trauma occurred They may be seen to have a more 'infantile' mind These feelings of abandonment are often furthered by demeaning words and condescending language used with the child Each times this occurs; the child begins to look at themselves as a 'non-entity' They experience existential death The external conflict that children see amongst their parents becomes an internal conflict for them the internal conflict then manifests itself externally (usually as aggression) The child becomes devoid of trust and those who draw near often become the persons who this internal conflict is unleashed upon It is not that the child is devoid of any feeling for the person seeking to connect with them; it is rather that every connection had strings attached or every connection has been severed The child becomes anxious and afraid of loss of even losing themselves if they are to try again to embark on the process of building a trusting relationship Laing (1969) stated that 'if there is anything the schizoid individual is likely to believe in it his own destructiveness He is unable to believe that he can fill his own emptiness without reducing what is there to nothing' It will be common then for these children to question whether they deserve 'happiness' and many times question if they even 'deserve to exist' The children who have undergone the trauma of abuse and abandonment lack an identity of their own; they appear as a construct of others and often are conformist They do what they feel will earn them the praise of others But in reality this is based on their own fears and their negative perceptions of themselves These children are prone to be seen as manipulative but this is because they are seeking to exercise control over some aspect of their lives when prior they had absolutely no control They strive for ideals they cannot be met Often their intense desire to control or to engage in certain activities in reality is a crying out for their real desire- to have an actual loving and trusting relationship But these children do not know how to respond to an outpouring of love They feel that they do not have a voice are not heard It is easier for them to feel hated than engulfed by love particularly when they have seen love to be about control They desire autonomy and feel they will lose it in the process of building a true relationship These children may begin to also de-personalize,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; they may not be prepared to relate to other persons They may be perceived as lacking empathy however this is not that it is not there or could not be there rather it is their fear that blocks their emotional expression of empathy
These children are often very hurt so they feel they must hurt others
What do we do How do we reach such a child It requires a patient approach We must allow the child to vent their frustrations We must share our understanding that we know they are hurt We must journey with them as they relate their experience of trauma We do not judge them or withdraw Even when their emotional expressions may cause us to be afraid we continue to reach out We need to be able to forge relationship know matter what and to help the child come to an understanding of life's impermanency yet we can still strive for happiness now The trauma is past and does not need to haunt us We can encourage this child to explore their own sense of self and engage in activities that give them a positive sense of self worth apart from others Caregivers and others need to make themselves emotionally available to look at emotional expression as a time for intimacy and teaching We need to be able to understand the behaviors even that which are annoying to us as a means of communication and when the child is in the 'right space' to communicate with them and help them process those feelings that were behind whatever incident occurred
We may be prone to drug the child because the behaviors are seen as 'out of control' or 'disturbing' but whereas this may cause the problematic behavior to lessen we may be making a grave mistake We may be subduing the very process by which the child is able to release the tension and pain We may be numbing but not looking at the root cause Unless we see the behavior how can we truly know what to do If we cannot allow the child to express their distress how will we truly know of their distress
To be simple our means of reaching this child is this- to be with them unconditionally
How do we make sense of the troubled teen Particularly those who enter the world of addiction whose family relationships are torn and who are often seen associating with 'negative' peers Many will assume that these teens can be easily identified by their style of dress or maybe by their class but these struggles can be found in many families Behavior can be seen but not experience What the child may interpret as their experience may be very different from the parent and vice versa What may have been gravely traumatic to the child may not have been seen as such by the family In our society today which causes us immense stress and pressure to survive (if we are poor) or attain more (if we are well to do) has diverted attention away from understanding experience Society has now sought to medicalize experience where any thoughts and feelings any part of our human condition need not be understood but numbed by a pill We are a numb society responding to societal pressures These pressures become unleashed on our children A parent may fear that their child will endure hardship that the parent may have endured so the parent seeks to force and coerce the child 'out of love' to achieve and do what the parent desires The teen in a state of exerting autonomy feels threatened and thus rejects in toto the guidance of the parent and seeks after peers who will understand their experience and their pain
As I mentioned that we are taught to be a numb society some teens choose to numb their emotional pain by illicit drugs This idea has been instilled by our society The teen may not realize the self destructive course they are taking because they have convinced themselves that they are free But it is not freedom they possess for freedom comes with responsibility rather they have traded one slavery for another Parents must take the time to understand the world and experience of the teen to build communication which seeks to understand their desire for autonomy and which respects their experience An overprotective stance and coercion leads to the breakdown of communication which is vital for any relationship to survive We often distrust children we do not allow them the ability to make decisions and when they are poor ones to see the logical consequences Why is it that adults assume they possess the wisdom when adult society has engaged in numerous conflicts costing many lives Could children make the right decisions or better
decisions if we solely gave them support and listened and journeyed with them rather than seeking to take away their autonomy they so desperately desire
We all seek to be free When we seek to create the identity and destiny of the teen we will fail They will not be able to develop an identity of their own but will grapple with who they are meaning and their purpose We must allow them to find themselves as we as adults function as coaches in this game of life We cannot think we can play the game for them or can manipulate the results When we can become involved with children again in a relationship of trust and respect then it is possible that what is seen as troublesome behavior will diminish When the child feels validated supported heard and able to have a voice they will in turn give the same to the parent We must be cautious of what we model If we seek to coerce and manipulate the child to meet our desires as adults we will have manipulative children Our methods of communication will be the children’s methods If we focus our time on the mundane we will find children to do likewise or seek to rebel against this system Because of the imbalance in power the child's rebellion is never successful but mostly self destructive but they rarely recognize this We can restore sanctuary to families but it is up to each to take ownership and responsibility for creating it
CHAPTER 6: THE IMPACT OF TRAUMA ON OUR LIVES AND WELL BEING
Whereas I find the various disorders in the DSM IV to be highly subjective they are mainly a listing of certain behavioral traits manifested by certain individuals It is my proposition that behind all of these behavioral traits lies traumatic experience and that based on age of the time of trauma the nature of the trauma and environmental factors will have a role in what reaction occurs and what behaviors are displayed
Trauma appears to be the main causation of the majority of what are termed 'disorders' in children and adolescents Hammersley et al (2003) found in his study "Childhood trauma and hallucinations in bipolar affective disorder" that there was a highly significant association of those experiencing hallucinations and the behaviors that are labeled bipolar disorder and those experiencing childhood traumas particularly childhood sexual abuse
McKenzie (1998) noted that a symptom defining trauma prior to 18 months could lead to the development of psychotic features once a symptom-precipitating trauma occurred later in life McKenzie (1998) also proposed that trauma between 18 and 24 months would lead to what would be term as 'schizoaffective' traits and that trauma between 24 and 36 months would manifest later as 'major depression'
I propose that trauma within during later childhood (approximately age 6- Cool

can lead to the development of behaviors in children that would be labeled as "Conduct Disorder" James (1989) states that trauma violates basic trust and disrupts one's ability to have empathy During the age between 6-8 is also the period where a child begins to develop a sense of justice a delineation between what is 'right' and 'wrong' If a trauma should occur during this period of formation then the outcome would be the manifestation later of serious conduct Chemtob Novaco Hamada Gross & Smith (1997) report that trauma can lead to an individual acting out by violent means I have seen that in children and adolescents who commit sexual offenses that there is a pattern of sexual victimization In addition these children had attachment concerns and problems in bonding and connecting with family members Physical abuse of the child is common These children lose sight of the ability to forge genuine relationships and as puberty sets in become very confused by their feelings Their having been subject to a lack of proper bonding and attachment and their being subject to often cruel and chaotic situations leads them to a complete lack of confidence and esteem They mistake sex for love and esteem for power Sadly in our society though the rates of recidivism are low for juvenile offenders and there is evidence that these children can be helped through intensive family work and community based programs these children are seen as 'throw-aways' of no value and looked upon with great disdain They are often subject to detention centers and other facilities where they are chemically restrained and held in isolation It is unfathomable how any can expect that such 'treatment' is expected to evoke any change
or rehabilitate Rather such leads these children to more despair and even the possibility of suicidality I believe it is possible for even these children to be reached but it requires a multi-systemic approach as well as a person willing to connect with the child in a profound way and to reinstill a sense of confidence hope and instill values and the understanding of appropriate boundaries However we are not a society that has the patience caring and understanding to want to pursue this more humane course If a child experiences significant abuse and neglect within the first year of life can develop what is termed as 'reactive attachment disorder' The child has difficulty forging appropriate relational bonds They are inherently distrustful The child who would fall into the categorization of "reactive attachment' must be differentiated from those with pervasive developmental disorder as whereas those with developmental challenges may manifest difficulty in relational bonds there is a differing causation With autism and pervasive developmental disorders trauma is also a factor however the trauma is not resultant of any action of the parent in regards to abuse or neglect Rather the trauma is beyond the control of the parents and is usually resultant from trauma in utero or as a neo-nate In addition there may be some role in regards to exposure to toxicity in relation to developmental delays Waseem and Switzer (2005) report that the earlier the onset of severe trauma the greater propensity for dissociation Those children who begin to dissociate are those where the trauma is not a single isolated event but a pervasive and recurrent event in the child's life
Trauma which occurs that is less intense and can be more readily resolved would fall into the classification of what is labeled "Adjustment Disorders" Lochner et al (2002) in the study "Childhood trauma and obsessive compulsive disorders' found a significant higher level of childhood trauma particularly emotional neglect in adults who later manifested obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) In OCD the trauma occurs in childhood and the environment is one that is chaotic and the child begins to feel the need to have a semblance of control It is through the obsessive-compulsive rituals that the child then begins to feel that they are able to take control over some aspect of their lives Anxiety and panic concerns can also be seen to be trauma related Exposure to a fear invoking event or 'flashbacks' to a traumatic event through a new precipitating trigger can evoke the panic response Being that the various psychological 'disorders' are connected to trauma it is logical that this is the factor that must be addressed and the use of psychotropic drugs in 'treatment' would only be subduing behaviors and numbing the impact of the trauma without truly ever addressing the core issue which has led to the psychological distress Therefore it is important that clinician's begin to truly examine the experience of children and adolescents and begin to understand the role and impact of traumatic experience in their lives It is necessary for the adults in the life of the child to begin to address the factors in the environment which may perpetuate distress and to aid the child in development of adaptive coping responses and the ability to resolve the inner conflicts arising from the traumatic experiences
A society can be judged by how it treats its children even those most troubled and disturbed Many choose to 'throw away' those children who are deemed delinquent But
how did they become that way It is not just their choices but it is also the failure of adults in their lives to truly reach out and guide these children Court systems Child Protective services and our educational systems fail these children time and time again They are shuffled off to placements and through psychiatric ceremonials only to become more bitter more hardened more distressed and more disturbed We should be investing our time to teach new skills to change the frame of reference to show compassion and wisdom We must have patience and journey with these children to know that someone truly cares and that their pains and hurts need not be self destructive But the issue remains greed It is profitable to keep the status quo the psychiatric establishment profits and so do others No one wants to take the time to bother with these children few are interested in social justice few want to give the things that would truly rehabilitate
I hope that there will be those who will wage a non violent resistance and to once again make our children a priority We live in a society where there must always be winners and losers; it impacts every aspect of how we conduct ourselves in courts in politics in business If only we can regain a sense of our common humanity and be able to develop concern for others even the most troubled We are creating the monsters by our failure to meet the true needs of our children,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; we are contributing to their demise Hopefully we will soon awaken to this and make the important changes
I had the privilege of working with a young man who had experienced much turmoil in his life From early on we connected and over time this bond became stronger Family sessions were often difficult and challenging but one on one he would share with me his pain his dark secrets his sorrows He had been abandoned by his father sexually abused by a peer at age 7 witness to a suicide attempt of his mother and having a conflictual relationship with his step-father He had little love in his life to the point where he had no love for himself either He began to loathe himself and be filled with rage I sought to be loving but firm and to steer him towards finding meaning and of resolving conflicts in his life We had a strong relationship we could joke together but also share more serious reflections However I knew that because he had been so hurt and broken that he was not fully trusting anyone and he was constantly being sucked into the vortex of negative peer associations and familial dysfunction I'm spite of this he progressed even to the point discharge was discussed by the psychologist But then came the series of unfortunate events I noticed him struggling again and isolating He then had an incident where he was caught unclothed with his younger sibling I suspected he had been abused again by a peer but he was not able to develop the courage to relate this until much later He persisted in some negative actions at school using domination of others as a way to regain control and his feelings of worth There was another incident of sexual acting out and this brought charges I had predicted sadly that if better choices were not made that legal ramifications would come and there would be a day where all decisions would be out of his hands out of his parents and out of mine The State became involved Not understanding my connection to the young man and wanting everything sterile and clinical as well as having political machinations they chastised me for being real and genuine and actually treating this young man as a human being They had their agenda and decided to proceed It was not that I did not understand that he needed additional support and help it was that I was concerned if he felt alone and had no spiritual connection he would only become more hardened and fall into despair The young man pleaded with me not to abandon him and I said I would not He told me that he wished he would have followed what I said but he could never trust anyone but now he knows that I truly cared about him but he felt it was too late I had given him a word that means 'I see the love truth and divine in you' He said this word to me as he remembered it When I examined it meaning he wept Now I am left to only hope for the best in an absurd situation to hope for the best in a system not knowing compassion not knowing persons so filled with ego His mother's words were very meaningful to me in that she said- 'you did not fail you gave him more than anyone ever did- you gave him trust hope and love' This I did and would do again and again even though the pain has been great And if any dare say that what I gifted this child with was 'unprofessional' then I must question their heart It is indeed a great misfortune that those who claim to be in the field of protecting children are so beguiled by greed and corruption that they lose sight of how to truly reach our children even the most troubled ones and deal with them in compassionate rehabilitative means
CHAPTER 7: OUR SOCIETY
American society is now filled with the concepts of self interest entitlement and playing victim The downward spiral of our economy should be no surprise our attitudes have only led to this eventual result As I have mentioned previously the education system does not value or reward initiative or creativity it is rather focused on the self interest of the educators and administrators who seek to have children conform to standards based on tests and gain their compliance so that the administrators can appear as if they have fulfilled their duty while the children actually languish We are a society that expects others to 'fix' our errors and provide for our relief We are a society of shifting blame We are a society that does not seek to take ownership and responsibility We are a society that knows not how to think critically but only to possess and consume The American dream can be now said to be the American nightmare We do not think of others but we focus on our own survival and our political leaders and the elite have placed persons in this uncomfortable position of intense worry for their own survival When this occurs the concern for others lessens and we focus solely on our own needs our own desires Society itself is sick yet it seeks to pathologize those who would react to this sick society and it offers them its technologies it offers them its drugs to numb them into accepting things as they are rather than to actively protest and change the injustices that exist American society has become apathetic and numb and if such persists our further decline is only inevitable Let us hope that some will awaken from their stupor before it is too late When we seek to judge behavior we come upon some great difficulties Let us say that we have identified a person as 'aggressive' What exactly is an aggressive act A person who hunts an animal Is that an aggressive act Johnny punches Sally in the nose is that an aggressive act A nation invades another nation Is that an aggressive act Mr Smith invests a lot into the stock market Is he an aggressive investor George rises to the top of his company Is he aggressive How we answer this is based on our values However psychiatry would like us to think that judging and categorizing behavior is a science that it is medicine So understanding that these are value judgments we could say that 'well a behavior that infringes on the rights of others is a problem' Indeed he may be but to state this means we are dealing with legality not medicine Therefore psychiatry can be said to be an arm of the law a means of social control and defining who the offenders of the social ‘norms’ are From this arises the question as to whether this position should be afforded to psychiatrists to be the arbitrators of values and what society 'should look like'
As human beings we all seek to be free from suffering We all seek to be free from oppression We all react to what we experience Some react in unconventional ways Not all reactions are effective means yet we react We all are seeking to create order a sense of purpose to our lives though there are varying constructs of what life is of what it means to be human Some retreat from suffering or seek higher levels of consciousness through use of substances but this often becomes destructive much like a plane soaring to high altitudes only to crash and burn upon landing Those who become labeled as mentally ill are often seeking to break free from severe oppression and suffering Yet society seeks to stifle their experience How dare they break free How dare they act in ways we do not approve So we drug and shock them hoping they 'come to their senses' or at least not be a 'bother' to us anymore If we could only come to realize the transformative process and support their liberation If society could but realize its illness rather than ascribing so called illness to persons
We all react to what we experience We all seek at some point to create order in life and at times control those events which are uncontrollable We each have our stories of joys and sorrows blessed memories and traumas For some individuals the way they experience the world has led them to despair or led them to obsessive behavior as a reaction to the extreme chaos they have internalized Those we label as mentally ill are those whose reactions to their experience society judges to be without value or problematic This creates stigma but if we understood these reactions if we sought to understand the experience we would find that these reactions may be the person's only way of dealing with the intense emotions oppression or other experiences they have had As Laing stated that what is termed insanity may be a sane response to an insane world We lock people up for behaving in ways we do not like We argue it is for their own good and we claim that we can predict their behavior or judge them to be a harm to themselves or others when in reality we do not truly possess this capability we can only hypothesize based on our own limited perceptions We believe falsely that those labeled mentally ill are more prone to violence while our 'sane' ones continue to involve themselves in wars and conflicts
Problems in life are inevitable we cannot escape them we do have no choice in this What we do have a choice in is how we wish to address these problems We have the choice to decide to allow these problems to make us anger bitter depressed anxious etc Our other choice is to become patient to transform our minds towards total acceptance When problems befall us we can also think of the causes that we may have created or misguided deeds or actions that may have led to our present experience We must realize that birth death aging and sickness are events we cannot escape So many people indulge in various distractions and temporary pleasures to not have to think of these events However all pleasures lead to suffering For instance we may have one drink that is pleasant and relaxing but multiple can cause us to become ill or hungover We must begin to examine our minds Even if we are not raging we must examine the angry minds we possess Simply being impatient is an angry mind it is a mind based on not being able to come to acceptance of seeking to change that which cannot be changed One of my clients age 14 commented that he felt he has always had 'anger problems' and that he feels that he has always 'had problems in my life" I discussed with him the root of his anger patience and the concept of total acceptance I told him that he can change his mind to not look upon himself as the 'kid with problems' but realize that we all undergo problems it is the human condition and that he can transform his mind to accept this fact and develop patience and total acceptance I have always had particular interest in the works of Dr Alice Miller who discussed the role of childhood abuse and the development later of emotional disturbance criminality addiction and further cycles of violence perpetuated on their children and others I have argued that aggression breeds aggression My article "Trauma Model of Psychological Distress" provided a timeline of when trauma occurs in childhood and the resulting impact in the teen years and into adulthood The mental health establishment often ignores these important factors instead attributing emotional distress to solely chemical processes Miller discussed the role of the enlightened witness which lessened the impact of the trauma I strongly believe that this role is crucial and a buffer to the destructive social and familial forces that impact some children This is a key part of the person developing resiliency Even in the most serious emotional disturbances the potential for recovery (and discovery) is possible It is not an easy process but a possible one It is sad that in our age we do not provide long term psychotherapy but focus on numbing people's minds and feelings This is not recovery it is repression which often leads to oppression
For the disadvantaged youth what are the choices that the ruling oligarchy allows them Go into military service and fight the wars for the rich so they can possibly receive the 'blessings' of the rich to pursue an education Or become a slave to them by amassing student loan debt while the wealthy ones path is paved There is no real opportunity Efforts are rarely rewarded but the good conformists are rewarded Is it any wonder that many poor kids turn to the sale of drugs and crime When we do not reward effort the elite oppress and opportunities are grim some are willing to assume the risk and danger if only for a moment to be apart from poverty and struggle And so it is with our homeless and those we often label mentally ill They seek to be free from oppression and thus many depart from the reality and standards of corrupt society As Laing stated madness may very well be a normal response to a society gone mad For these persons the elite drug them into submission their experience is of no imp