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Reality is these habits make life easier. Picture the above scenario where every single day consisted of an entirely new routine. Exciting? Sure — for a little while. After that, just plain exhausting.
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The downside of a life assembled on a foundation of habits are the “side effects;” those unexpected results of our patterns. Make no mistake however; they are every bit as much a part of the habit as are the results we seek. For example, if I’m bored, I eat. If I’m angry, I eat. If I’m sad, I eat. It’s a common routine. It allows me to feel better fast. After all, chips or ice cream not only alleviate boredom, but also go a long way toward holding negative feelings at bay — for the short term. The side effect is a weight gain. I get to feel good quickly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for the simple price of obesity long term.
Conversely, some people read a book when bored; when sad, call a friend; and when angry, take a brisk walk. (There is a clinical term for such folks: “Skinny.”) Whereby their habits also provide comfort,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the side effects are healthier. Should I long for such results, I must also develop similar habits.
This is not to suggest we are unimaginative, bland, nor boring; rather to illustrate that we are creatures of habit; no if’s, and’s, or butt’s about it.
We never really get rid of habits. We put them in cold storage; we can thaw them out whenever we choose. Unfortunately we do that more times than we consciously choose, which is yet one more habit we can change.
For most of us,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], alarm clocks buzz the same time every morning. The average grocery store stocks over 38,000 items; yet the standard shopper goes to the same store every week, usually on the same day, and chooses from the same few dozen items every outing. We become brand loyal, eating our meals at approximately the same period every day,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], leave for work at a uniform time, drive a standard route, and return home at a consistent hour every night. Evenings consist of consuming one of a few “favorite” dinners. Entertainment consists of books or magazines from a few select genres and a stable of favorite authors; or maybe a regular line-up of TV shows, which we watch while sitting in “our usual place,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],” and snacking — or not — on the same foods we had yesterday at the same time. At day’s end, we retire at the same time, even sleeping with the same person (hopefully), only to repeat these patterns come dawn.
Most of life is done by rote,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Scott "Q" Marcus
See all Articles by Scott Q MarcusSee Scott Q Marcus's Expert PageGet Updates on HabitsGet Updates on Scott Q Marcus Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
The thing is that it’s extremely difficult to “drop” habits. Since their sole purpose is to fill voids,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], simply abolishing them make those holes more painful. This in turn, triggers the very behavior we were trying to banish — which puts our actions at odds with our feelings. In a case like that, emotions almost always win out and the habit — and its side effects — strengthens.
To break this cycle, one must replace the offending behavior with a counterproductive one. So, rather than saying,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “I won’t eat when stressed,” develop a plan,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], such as,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “I’ll take a walk when stressed.” Providing you don’t also grab a candy bar on the way out the door,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the anxiety is still diminished — without the pesky side effect. Yes, feels awkward at first (because it’s not yet a habit), but given a few repetitions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it eventually forms a new, healthier, habit.
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