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Wysłany: Wto 9:26, 15 Paź 2013
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Avoid fried foods and foods high in calories.By Pamela SD. and Kevin L Gyoerkoe PsyD See all Articles by New Harbinger PublicationsSee New Harbinger Publications's Expert PageGet Updates on PregnancyGet Updates on New Harbinger Publications Average: 2 Your rating: None Average: 2 (1 vote) Tweet Emotional difficulties in women during pregnancy and after delivery are surprisingly common For example studies consistently show that approximately 14 percent of women suffer from postpartum depression (Paulson Dauber and Leiferman 2006) In addition some studies have found around 16 percent of women will experience clinically significant anxiety symptoms after delivery (Wenzel et al 2005) Therefore there’s a good possibility that your partner will struggle with one or more of these emotional issues while pregnant or following the birth of your child
If your partner is struggling with anxiety or depression you may feel lost and confused You want to know how you can help Below we’ve listed five key ways you can provide some much-needed support to your partner as the two of you become parents
EMPATHIZE
Pregnancy and new motherhood is a time of tremendous change for women During this time she’s experiencing physical and emotional changes she’s terrified about her new responsibilities and she’s fearful that her performance as a mother will be inadequate It is difficult to see your partner going through this experience and you may feel helpless to make things better You may try to help her feel better but your attempts to “fix” things will often be rejected (Morgan et al 1997) Rather than becoming frustrated that your efforts to solve problems are not always appreciated know that one of the best strategies you can use at this time is to just listen and hear how difficult things are for her Simply let her know you care for her and that you will go through this with her
KNOW WHAT TO WATCH OUT FOR
Your partner may have the symptoms such as panic attacks obsessive thoughts compulsive behaviors or excessive worry Or she may have symptoms of postpartum depression As a result she may lose interest in interacting with her child or may tend only to the baby while completely neglecting her own needs Although it’s important not to overreact to minor symptoms such as occasional crying or sadness if your partner exhibits symptoms of anxiety or depression most of the day for a week or two take action because it may be a sign of a more serious problem If your partner is suffering from depression or anxiety you might wonder why she’s feeling that way After all having a child may be something she desperately wanted The two of you may have gone to great lengths to get pregnant And there’s certainly a lot of joy that comes with a child These factors may make your partner’s negative emotions all the more puzzling and frustrating
Although no one knows for sure why some new moms get depressed or anxious researchers have uncovered some risk factors (Robertson et al 2004) including the following:
· Depression during pregnancy
· Anxiety during pregnancy
· Stressful life events during pregnancy or shortly after delivery
· Lack of social support
· History of anxiety or depression
Pay particular attention if your partner has one or more of these risk factors You can also discuss these risk factors with her Of course your partner can also develop anxiety or depression without these risk factors so be on the lookout for symptoms Encourage her to talk with her physician if you’re concerned
GET HELP
If you have a partner who is suffering from postpartum anxiety or depression help her get appropriate treatment from a medical or mental health professional It may be tempting to go it alone and try to solve her problems on your own but remember that postpartum anxiety and depression are real—and treatable—medical conditions and should be addressed as such Just as you wouldn’t try to treat any other serious illness yourself you should not try to deal with your partner’s postpartum anxiety and depression symptoms without the guidance of a health care provider
What about suicide The grim truth is that new moms suffering from postpartum depression are at significant risk for committing suicide If you suspect that your partner may be having thoughts of suicide get help immediately If the danger is imminent call 911 or get her to the nearest emergency room
HELP OUT
As renowned relationship expert John Gottman (1999) wrote in his best-selling book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work “Men have to do more housework” Household help is particularly needed during the pregnancy and postpartum period These are especially busy times: cribs need assembling diapers need changing clothes need folding and bottles need washing Believe it or not simply doing more around the house can go a long way toward providing much-needed support for your partner Helping out can take many forms Here are some specific ways you can give Mom a hand:
· Change diapers
· Feed your baby
· Prepare a meal
· Do the dishes
· Take the garbage out
· Shop for groceries
· Return phone calls
· Do laundry
· Clean the bathroom
BOND WITH YOUR BABY
How do some moms build that unbreakable bond with their children The answer is simple They form that connection by responding moment by moment to their child’s needs In other words they focus intensely on caring and responding to their child
Connecting with your child in this way is known as attachment parenting (Sears and Sears 2001) and it’s one of the best things you can do for your child yourself and your spouse And the good news is that attachment parenting isn’t just for moms Dads too can take advantage of this method of caring for your child The only rule is to respond quickly and effectively to your child’s need for food comfort stimulation and physical contact So hold your baby Talk to her Sing to her Pick her up when she cries Feed her when she’s hungry Rock her to sleep Read a story to her Give her a massage Play with her Bathe her By giving her this intense attention you’ll be building a bond with your child moment by moment that will last a lifetime You’ll also be helping your partner by encouraging your child to attach to you as well as Mom
***
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Have big reasons for wanting to achieve the results you declare. Make these reasons large enough and truly heartfelt, so that they ignite passion and strong emotion behind your dreams. You need to always be able to instantly get in touch with wonderfully powerful feelings about your dream goals. Those emotions will inspire consistent action and will inspire others around you. You will need those inspired friends on the days you feel a bit too flat for taking action.
This article lists a few of the thoughts that came up for me as I recalled a few monumental achievements in my own life, and I write them here with the intention of making a difference to the life of somebody else,
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At some stage, when you notice that the goal you have created is not for you, then at very least do it for others. Create a purpose outside of yourself, if your own is not yet strong enough. You will build the muscles you need as you step forward. Collect all the crutches you can until you have generated some personal momentum. Soon the goal will again be yours and will no longer feel foreign to you.
Never use time as your excuse. Wedge dream projects into your current lifestyle, and commitments. Even if you crawl forward at ten minutes each day, do something every day toward that end goal. When you go to sleep each day,
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Build in structures and systems that keep the dream alive over extended periods of time. Add props like quotes, images and posters in your daily surrounds. Have pop up messages on your computer, use the screensaver area on your screens, and add material to inspire you. Include supportive friends who know about your intentions,
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All the points listed above are by no means a comprehensive collection, or a complete formula for success. They are purely a few things to consider and check in with, if you are up to some big things in your life. Throughout them all is the common thread of managing yourself. Watch the language you use, and how you speak with yourself. Live with awareness and recognize the many faces of fear. Continue to build harmony in your every day living. Never lose touch with the miracle and dream life that you already live. Inhale gratitude with every breath. You have today as a gift,
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Reach for those stars,
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Decisions must be made. A real decision is measured by the fact that you have taken a new action. If there is no action, then you really have not decided. Check in with yourself. Have you honestly made a decision regarding your dream? If not, then make one. Either completely drop the goal or get on ahead full-steam with it.
If you have a massive goal and you are continually procrastinating, perhaps this is indicative of a misalignment somewhere in your life. Is there something that is not in integrity with who you believe yourself to be,
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Dreams need wheels, foundations, and time lines. Begin incorporating daily actions and habits to move you forward. Set up files, folders, calendars and other structures for being able to immediately collect material and information that you need for your projects. Set short and long-term timelines for specific phases, and for specific completion points. Then live your days toward those dates of completion, and targets that are easily measured.
Build on positive results, and create some wins for yourself. Each time you win a little victory over yourself, you create impetus for moving forward even more. It helps you to grow, and become the person you must become for having that dream live for you. There will be changes, this is inevitable when working toward a big dream and when growing into the person who is to fit such a large dream. Allow, accept and actively encourage that level of personal growth.
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